It’s no secret I’m not a great chef.
Basically, if the instructions are anything more than- “open box, pour into bowl, add milk”- I’m hopeless.
But I tried really hard last week to make a cake for my best friend’s b-day.
DISASTER!
Okay- so I destroyed the kitchen in the process of making the most inedible cake ever- it happens. Here’s where the “grrrrrrr” comes in.
It got filmed for my sister’s reality TV show & the tape of me making a huge mess and then gagging as I tasted my creation somehow ended up on the Internet. WHY??? WHY???
And now I’m getting a TON of email from people either totally laughing at me or ending me their fool-proof cake recipes. Everybody’s a critic. Everybody knows exactly what I did wrong. Did I ask for advice????
-sigh-
It’s my sister’s reality show- so why does it keep messing with MY real life???
Sam
Okay- it’s June.
Where’s my summer vacation?
I always think of summer as chill out time. School’s out. Everyone mellows & heads to the beach or on a camping trip, right?
Not in my world. Danni had singing gigs lined up from now all through September and Mom thinks we need to go with her to get in some quality family time. HUH? When Danni’s performing, it takes up every single minute of the day. It’s not as if she can go out and do anything when she’s got to go on stage that night and sing & dance her heart out for over 2 hours. She’s toast all day- beyond exhausted.
That means my day “with her” is spent sitting in a hotel room trying to not make too much noise to wake her up. She even just grumbled at me about typing “too loud”.
Give me a break- a real break!
Danni had a commitment this am to do a fan meet & greet and sign autographs. It was a very long morning/afternoon. On the way home, I was starving!!! I whined so much about it that Robert had the limo pull over at some restaurant that seemed to me to be in the middle of no where (it really wasn’t “no where”- but it was a part of town I’d never been in before).
I didn’t know what to order so I asked the waitress what was the best thing on the menu. She smiled & brought me, “the house special”.
It was a plate with a piece of fried chicken & a waffle.
I thought she was kidding me. I’d never heard of anyone eating a waffle (obvious breakfast food) with friend chicken (usually dinner or picnic food). Guess what- it was AWESOME!!!
Who thought of this? Seriously- if you’ve never had fried chicken and a waffle- run to the first place you can find that will make this for you. It’s my newest fav food (well… after ice cream).
Seems my blog is getting a lot of spam comments lately. Here’s the tricky part: the spam is complimentary. They say nice things, “I really like this blog”, or “Great posts here”, but then I look at the email and it’s wicked obvious that the “compliment” is total baloney! These people haven’t even read my blog. They just want their email (which seems to always be a link to something lame like “fake fancy watches” or “free credit reports” (as if – I’m not even 15 – why would I even have credit to report on???).
BUT I still feel guilty deleting the comments because they seem kind.
Grrrrrrr. Shoo spammers! Just leave me alone.
Can someone please help me understand how my mom can be SO BUSY – rushing here, taking a phone call there- busy, busy, busy- but she never seems to get anything accomplished? I feel really badly for her- even when she goes to get her hair or nails done- her mobile rings off the hook- but when we have dinner, all Mom can say is how much she didn’t get done that day.
Is this a strange grown-up thing or is it a crazy, show business thing?
We had to take an airplane twice yesterday. We flew to an event for Danni (she was giving an award to a kid to did something really awesome and when asked what reward she’d want- the girl said she wanted to meet Danni more than anything- so how could Danni say no???)
The flight over to the town wasn’t bad- but the flight back ended up being SO bad it’s almost funny… almost.
As we walked off the plane, I realized I’d left the ear buds for my iPod in that little pocket of the seat in front of me (I know- I know-you should never put stuff in there because it always gets left behind).
Before I stepped off the plane, I ran back to get my ear buds and ran smack into a flight attendant who was rather serious about getting everyone off the plane. She wouldn’t let me get around her to get back to my seat. When I politely explained why I needed to get back to where I’d been sitting, she looked at me, but clearly wasn’t listening. She instead yelled loudly, “Would this child’s mother please retrieve her?”
Okay. “CHILD?” “RETRIEVE HER?” What am I… a lost dog? I tried again to explain that all I needed was two seconds to grab my ear buds, but again the lady didn’t listen to me. She seemed to look through me rather than at me and yelled, “It’s time for everyone to get off the plane.”
One last time, I began to tell her WHY I was needing to get back to my seat, but the lady – who seemed to be looking at my eyebrows instead of at my eyes, seemed to not hear any of the words coming out of my mouth. She ordered me off the plane and again yelled for my “mother” to come and get me.
It was funky, freaky, and rude, rude, RUDE!
Robert raced over and grabbed the collar of my shirt and practically dragged me off the plane. What? A rude lady yells at my eyebrows & I’m the one who gets hauled off like a criminal??? Seriously- where are the manners police when you need them? Why become a flight attendant if you don’t like talking to people? Who speaks at a person’s eyebrows instead of their eyes? Can you imagine what my mom would do to me if I pulled a stunt like that? When I’m getting “a-talking-to” the first thing my mom says is, “look into my eyes, young lady, and see how serious I am.”
I’ve heard people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. So what does it mean when someone stares at your eyebrows rather than your eyes? It was a totally rotten way to end what had otherwise been a great day.
Weird, right?
PS: If you want to know the airline- just email me (hello@notmyreality.com) and I’ll tell you.
I feel awful.
8-{
Seriously- yesterday I was chilling with a group of people and I let my guard down and made a couple of jokes about my sister taking forever to get dressed because of her attention to detail with her hair & make-up & the colors she’s wearing and …
None of what I said was “bad”, but still, when taken out of context (yes- someone from the group emailed a gossip site with my words) it sounded really snotty.
I really am mortified! I wasn’t making fun of my sister- it was just meaningless, sisterly grumbling. I was joking – but it really hurt Danni’s feelings & my mom was REALLY mad! Yes- I know better! Yes, I should have learned by now that I can’t just babble away because anyone- anywhere can take my words or actions and plaster them all over the Internet & then it’s Danni who has to deal with the embarrasment.
URGH! Danni doesn’t read my blog- so apologizing here won’t help her- but it’ll make me feel a little better. So- here goes:
I am 1000000% x 4-ever sorry for my bad, unfair, unfunny jokes about my sister & how long it takes her to get ready to leave the house.
Now- can we all please forget about this & move on? PLEASE???
It’s hardly a secret that I’m not a very girly girl. I’m happiest in jeans & a T-shirt. But I’m giving a major “High 5″ to this girl out in Iowa who made her prom dress out of gum wrappers! How wicked is that? I’m loving how original & creative this is. Talk about guts- it takes real courage to do something so totally personal & imaginative.
I showed a picture to my sister’s wardrobe guy (it’’s either Jean or Jehan- I can never tell which twin is which & who is the make-up/hair artist and who is the wardrobe dude) and he went into psycho-nutbar overdrive mode with applause & approval. He’s going to talk to Danni about getting the girl to design a special outfit like this for her next tour.
Now there’s a cool thing about having a famous sister- getting to use Danni’s fame to support someone who really is “new”, cool, & genuine- not just another weasel trying to get rich & famous super quick.
Am I the only female on Planet Earth who doesn’t care a hoot & a half about shoes? My mom, my sister- even my best friend- they all go hard-core nutty when talking about shoes. What am I missing here?
Shoes are things you put on your feet so you don’t get dirty or blisters or cuts when walking around. Right?
Saturday, Olga and I went to see a movie and on the way to the theater, she saw a big shoe sale at a store (now this store was next to an ice cream shop- which made it double torture for me to sit there and wait… and wait… and wait while she tried on pair after pair after pair).
It’s not as if I totally don’t care how I look- I admit that I feel extra good about myself when I’m wearing a super comfy pair of jeans or a T-shirt that is a bright color- but shoes… I just don’t get. They are on my feet- who is looking at my feet???
Now baseball caps and cowboy hats- there’s something I could spend hours trying on! But that makes sense. When someone looks at you, what do they see- your face. And where is a hat??? Right there framing your face!
(I was going to write – Duh – here- but that would be snarky and I’m not trying to be snarky- just kind of silly).
Okay- seriously- now my sister’s agent has majorly gone too far!
Seems Robert made a deal with some soda company and now we are only supposed to have a certain brand (one that doesn’t make an orange cream flavor) in our house. I was super displeased with this- but then, last night, I ordered my all time favorite drink at the ONE pizza place in town that sells it & Robert pitched a total hissy! You’d have thought I committed some terrible crime or had broken all 10 Commandments in one go- when all I did was ask for an orange cream soda!
My mom stood up for me at first, but then, when Robert reminded her about how big the deal was and how the family TV crew was indeed filming us at that moment, Mom turned around and quietly (but in that “I’m asking you a question that’s not really a question- it’s an order” voice) asked me to please either choose the “correct” soda or drink water.
I drank water.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.